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If I Were Morse Code You’d be My .-..  ..  ..-.  .  .-..  ..  -.  .

If I were a footballer, you’d be my goal,

If I were a dancer, then you’d be my pole,

If I were in pieces, you could make me whole,

If I were a lemon, you would be my sole,

If you were a cat, I’d be your tail,

If you were a crime, then I’d be in jail,

I’ll be your ASBO, if you’ll be my hoodie,

If you’ll be Pinocchio, I’ll be your woodie,

If I were a cabbage, you would be my heart,

If I were a poison, then you'd be my dart,

If you were in court, I’d be your subpoena,

If you were John Major, I’d be your Edwina,

If you were a coal seam, I’d be down the pits,

If you were a laxative, I’d just call in sick,

If you were a drag act, I’d be your queen,

If you were a peep show, then I’d be obscene,

If I were a pirate, you’d be my prized hoard,

If I were Keith Richards, you could be my chord,

If you’ll be my bubble, I’ll be your squeak,

I’ll be an anorak, if you’ll be my geek,

If I were Joan Collins, you’d be my fake tan,

If I were a hustler, then you’d be my scam,

I’ll be your playground if you’ll be my swing,

I could be a rapper, if you were my bling,

If I were a jeweller, you’d be my rare gem,

If I were a flu bug, you could be my phlegm,

I’ll be your Bonny, if you’ll be my Clyde,

I could be your fairground, if you’d be my ride,

If I were Casanova, you would be my serenade,

If I were Paddington, you’d be my marmalade,

If I were a horse, you could be my bridle,

I’ll be a heathen, if you’ll be my false idol,

If I were a wagon, you’d be my wheel,

If I were condemned, you’d be my last meal,

If I were a tramp, you would be my park bench,

If I were a monkey, then you’d be my wrench,

If I told you I’m yours and you said you were mine,

I could be this poem and you’d be my punchline.